Other mothers probably told their kids "You're amazing!", "I love how you're so good at X", and "Clean up your room!" My mom told me those things, too, but one of the things I remember hearing a lot as a teenager was, "It's okay if you're gay. I'll still love you."
MOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!! Just because I didn't have a boyfriend in high school...
I recently thought about my mom always telling me this while listening to the Calum Scott song "No Matter What" about the singer coming out to his parents and friends. The song makes me cry because I want my own child to know that she can come to me and tell me anything, and I'll still love her "no matter what". And then I get to thinking about my own mom and how she would have acted just like the mom in the song.
It wasn't just me potentially being gay that my mom was okay with. She was okay with all gay people, constantly saying that she knew several gay people, and they were the nicest people she'd ever met. And though she attended church every Sunday, she made known that she disagreed with the church's stance on homosexuality. (In fact, she disagreed with a lot of typical church doctrine. Another notable one was how the church didn't like Harry Potter because it involved witchcraft, completely disregarding the major plot lines of good versus evil, friendship, and doing what's right even when it's hard.)
My mom also took a stand against racism, something I remember from back when I was a little kid. My mom's uncle was an old-school white guy who was really old. I remember visiting him in the hospital once, and he was complaining about sharing a room with an African-American man. (Pretty sure he didn't say "African-American", though.) While my mom didn't call him out then and there (though she should have), she did say later that she was embarrassed by her uncle's words, that what he said was not acceptable.
Through her job, she worked with many Hispanic and Indian immigrant families and always had positive things to say about the fathers, mothers, and grandparents she met with several times a year. She never understood the anti-immigration stance that so many people take in this country.
Things like that stay with a kid.
Perhaps my mom wasn't doing it consciously. Maybe she didn't have an agenda when she talked the way she did in front of me. Perhaps she was just expressing her opinion. But she expressed her opinion where I could hear it and see it. Those words of "It's okay to be this way" and "People shouldn't use those words" coupled with her actions of friendship and respect toward those who were "different" made a lasting impression on me.
What things did your mom say to you as a kid that you'll always remember? What things do you say to your kids today? How do you talk about yourself in front of your kids? How do you talk about other people in front of your kids? They're always listening.
And they're always learning. It's up to us what we want to teach our kids and whether or not we'll be passing down positivity and love or negativity and hatred.
MOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!! Just because I didn't have a boyfriend in high school...
I recently thought about my mom always telling me this while listening to the Calum Scott song "No Matter What" about the singer coming out to his parents and friends. The song makes me cry because I want my own child to know that she can come to me and tell me anything, and I'll still love her "no matter what". And then I get to thinking about my own mom and how she would have acted just like the mom in the song.
It wasn't just me potentially being gay that my mom was okay with. She was okay with all gay people, constantly saying that she knew several gay people, and they were the nicest people she'd ever met. And though she attended church every Sunday, she made known that she disagreed with the church's stance on homosexuality. (In fact, she disagreed with a lot of typical church doctrine. Another notable one was how the church didn't like Harry Potter because it involved witchcraft, completely disregarding the major plot lines of good versus evil, friendship, and doing what's right even when it's hard.)
My mom also took a stand against racism, something I remember from back when I was a little kid. My mom's uncle was an old-school white guy who was really old. I remember visiting him in the hospital once, and he was complaining about sharing a room with an African-American man. (Pretty sure he didn't say "African-American", though.) While my mom didn't call him out then and there (though she should have), she did say later that she was embarrassed by her uncle's words, that what he said was not acceptable.
Through her job, she worked with many Hispanic and Indian immigrant families and always had positive things to say about the fathers, mothers, and grandparents she met with several times a year. She never understood the anti-immigration stance that so many people take in this country.
Things like that stay with a kid.
Perhaps my mom wasn't doing it consciously. Maybe she didn't have an agenda when she talked the way she did in front of me. Perhaps she was just expressing her opinion. But she expressed her opinion where I could hear it and see it. Those words of "It's okay to be this way" and "People shouldn't use those words" coupled with her actions of friendship and respect toward those who were "different" made a lasting impression on me.
What things did your mom say to you as a kid that you'll always remember? What things do you say to your kids today? How do you talk about yourself in front of your kids? How do you talk about other people in front of your kids? They're always listening.
And they're always learning. It's up to us what we want to teach our kids and whether or not we'll be passing down positivity and love or negativity and hatred.
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