Creating Equality at Home - Book Review

It's interesting to read a book like Creating Equality at Home, edited by Ruth A. Gaunt and Francine M. Deutsch, during COVID-19. I've been receiving so many press releases about how families are dividing the workload now that both Mom and Dad are working from home and the kids need to be homeschooled. Turns out, Moms are doing most of the work - teaching the kids, getting their own work done, and doing housework.

Is there anything today's families can learn from the 25 profiled families in Creating Equality at Home? Yes, definitely, although it probably would be easier to create an equal division of unpaid labor right now if that had already been the status quo in your family pre-COVID. Still, the main takeaway for me from this book was communication. Your husband doesn't know what you want or need unless you tell him. So if you feel overwhelmed with all this increased work you're taking on, then explain that to your husband and together you can figure out ways to share the load.

What makes the 25 families in this book stand out, aside from their equal division of housework and childcare, is that these families are all from different countries. And they've all ignored society's invisible mandate that women be the primary caregivers while the men go off and work. Even in countries where women are protected from discrimination in the workforce, there is still a gender wage gap. But when women communicate what they need and leave the gate open for their husbands to work alongside them, when men are enthusiastic about taking a more active role in their childrens' lives, and when employers offer flexible work plans for family-first parents, it becomes easier for mothers and fathers to become the parents they want to be.

That's not to say that equality at home automatically makes things sunshine and rainbows. The couples interviewed still had conflicts. Some women didn't like the way their husbands did some of the work. Some of the husbands called their wives "workaholics". And some of the men seemed to expect praise for every little thing they did. (Reminded me of that Holderness Family YouTube video set to Moana's "You're Welcome".) 

Indeed, it's true that society seems to praise men for being fathers, but it makes women feel guilty for either being too into their work or too into their children. A double standard definitely still exists.

The only downside to this book is that it's written in a very clinical, research way. Probably because each chapter is written by researchers as opposed to investigative journalists who could have crafted a more compelling story. If you don't like reading trade journals or textbooks, then you might not have the patience for Creating Equality at Home's 392 pages.

But there would be a lot to discuss with a book club or a fellow reader if you do choose to read this book. 

Creating Equality at Home is published by Cambridge University Press. It will be on bookstore shelves June 18, 2020. I received a free review copy.