When did pictures with Santa become a
thing? There are no pictures of me as a crying infant sitting on
Santa's lap. When I was almost 3, a family friend dressed up as Santa
and came to our house to give me a present and take a picture. I
didn't cry. It wasn't until I was in elementary school that I had my
picture taken with a mall Santa Claus. And I think that only happened
one other time.
We were at the mall at the beginning of November and Santa was already there. When my daughter found out, she asked if she could say "hi" to him. And that's all she did. Even though I'm sure the photographers and Santa Claus were bored because no one else was in line, they didn't force my kid to sit or stand or do anything. There was no picture. My daughter just went up to Santa, said "hello", Santa asked her some questions, and then he gave her a candy cane, and that was that.
But just the other weekend, we were at a holiday lights festival, and Santa was there giving out candy, which my daughter very much wanted. She was willing to wait in line to see Santa to get the candy.
Right before it was our turn, I asked her if she wanted to sit on Santa's lap. She said "no", but when she went over to Santa, she let him lift her up on his lap. Part of me thought, "Oh good. She's losing her fear of Santa." And another part of me thought, "Well, what if she didn't really want to be on his lap, but he picked her up anyway?"
So I told her later in the car that she could have told Santa she didn't want to sit on his lap. She assured me that she was okay with what had happened. And it hit me how sad it was that I was even having a conversation with my kid about consent with Santa.
But it's so true that in the greater scheme of things, I want my kid to stand her ground and defend her choices and what she wants, even with Santa Claus.
How do we solve the Santa problem, if you even think it's a problem? I have a friend who takes her daughter to see Santa, but she doesn't make her daughter sit on Santa's lap. In fact, one year, my friend's Christmas card picture was of her daughter standing some distance from Santa giving him a wary eye while Santa gamely stared back. It was perfect, and it also sent a good message to her daughter that yes, Santa is a stranger and no, you don't have to talk to him or hug him or sit on his lap if you don't want to.
Maybe it's a good thing that I have a child who is wary of Santa and strangers. (Although, she's had no problem with the Easter Bunny up until this past year, and that thing is CREEPY.) I'm glad she's no longer bursting into tears upon seeing Santa, and all I can do is follow her lead on what she wants, standing by to step in if needed.
And, of course, take the Santa picture.
But now. NOW. Every kid gets his
picture taken with Santa. No. Matter. What. It's a rite of passage to
have the "crying baby with Santa" picture. And if your kid
doesn't cry when you hand her over to Santa, well, you're one of the
lucky ones.
My kid was a Santa crier. The first two years of Santa pictures were full of tears. The third year, she was still wary of the big man, and I had to be in the picture with her.
There was only time when we didn't take the picture - at Six Flags Holiday in the Park. Even though we had waited and waited in a long line, once we finally got inside to see Santa, my kid bolted for the door as soon as I put her on the ground.
"Don't you want a picture of her
crying?" Santa asked.
"No, we got that last year,"
I said. And I'm not forcing her to do it again, I thought.
And, more importantly, I'm not paying $20+ for a picture of my kid
crying.
And yet, I did force her to do it again and again. Part of me felt bad for forcing the picture, but I'm a scrapbooker. Picture or it didn't happen.
So here is my conundrum, especially with a little girl. I don't want to force her to go sit on a strange man's lap if she doesn't want to. I don't want to force her to do anything she's not comfortable doing, and I don't want her to think that it's normal for adults to make little kids do stuff or that she has to do something just because an adult says to do it.
So here is my conundrum, especially with a little girl. I don't want to force her to go sit on a strange man's lap if she doesn't want to. I don't want to force her to do anything she's not comfortable doing, and I don't want her to think that it's normal for adults to make little kids do stuff or that she has to do something just because an adult says to do it.
Maybe
I'm overthinking things here, but I always think back to this Girl Scouts of America article telling parents to
not even make little girls (or boys) hug relatives during the holiday season if they don't want to. So maybe I'm not overthinking?
We were at the mall at the beginning of November and Santa was already there. When my daughter found out, she asked if she could say "hi" to him. And that's all she did. Even though I'm sure the photographers and Santa Claus were bored because no one else was in line, they didn't force my kid to sit or stand or do anything. There was no picture. My daughter just went up to Santa, said "hello", Santa asked her some questions, and then he gave her a candy cane, and that was that.
But just the other weekend, we were at a holiday lights festival, and Santa was there giving out candy, which my daughter very much wanted. She was willing to wait in line to see Santa to get the candy.
Right before it was our turn, I asked her if she wanted to sit on Santa's lap. She said "no", but when she went over to Santa, she let him lift her up on his lap. Part of me thought, "Oh good. She's losing her fear of Santa." And another part of me thought, "Well, what if she didn't really want to be on his lap, but he picked her up anyway?"
So I told her later in the car that she could have told Santa she didn't want to sit on his lap. She assured me that she was okay with what had happened. And it hit me how sad it was that I was even having a conversation with my kid about consent with Santa.
But it's so true that in the greater scheme of things, I want my kid to stand her ground and defend her choices and what she wants, even with Santa Claus.
How do we solve the Santa problem, if you even think it's a problem? I have a friend who takes her daughter to see Santa, but she doesn't make her daughter sit on Santa's lap. In fact, one year, my friend's Christmas card picture was of her daughter standing some distance from Santa giving him a wary eye while Santa gamely stared back. It was perfect, and it also sent a good message to her daughter that yes, Santa is a stranger and no, you don't have to talk to him or hug him or sit on his lap if you don't want to.
Maybe it's a good thing that I have a child who is wary of Santa and strangers. (Although, she's had no problem with the Easter Bunny up until this past year, and that thing is CREEPY.) I'm glad she's no longer bursting into tears upon seeing Santa, and all I can do is follow her lead on what she wants, standing by to step in if needed.
And, of course, take the Santa picture.
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